the_link_cannon: funny

This is the "funny" section of the "link cannon". Some folks asked me to post this collection of links.
The collection began as my own, but it has since been greatly augmented by the efforts of the "regulars" in the Yahoo! chat room "Linux, FreeBSD, Solaris:1"
The collection originated from custom user commands created for the chat client curfloo The conversion script used then was http://edge-op.org/files/curf-cannon
The author of the zinc chat client provides two handy perl scripts for converting from curfloo commands format to zinc commands format, and back.
Zinc allows the creation of multiple custom commands files in ~/.zinc/cmd/ , which makes it easy to create multiple HTML files from them.
The script used to produce this page is zinc-linker. The zinc custom commands are in zinc-coms.tgz.
All software mentioned above is provided AS-IS, without warranty. Use at your own risk.
Broken links are a side-effect of a dynamic World Wide Web.

Last updated: February 24, 2005

Linus Torvalds on SCO -- "Nothing to lose is a bad situation to be in. They're a cornered rat, and quite frankly, I think they have rabies to boot. I'd rather not get too close to them." ->
http://www.businessweek.com/ magazine/ content/ 04_05/ b3868110_mz063.htm

The Grinch Who Stole Linux ->
http://www.groklaw.net/ article.php ?story =20031106164630915

Zoomaflume ->
http://www.groklaw.net/ comment.php ?mode =display &sid =20031106050157145 &title =It %27s +Official. + +China +Goes +Linux. + +Gartner +Says +US +Will +Follow. +And +Darl %27s +No +Free +Linux +Speech. &type =article &order = &pid =19198

Comparing Bill Gates' net worth to the Gross Domestic Product of countries would rank him 59th, just after Vietnam. Comparing Bill Gates' net worth to total annual revenue of companies in 2004 would rank him 54th, just behind Intel Corp. (Microsoft itself ranks 79th). ->
http://evan.quuxuum.org/ bgnw.html

"According to Forbes Magazine the total value of all 121 Major League teams in all four major US Sports (in 2004) was $ 41.29 Billion. That's only 13.9% of Bill's fortune." ->
http://evan.quuxuum.org/ bgnw.html

put a bug on your back ->
http://www.davesdaily.com/ pictures/ 162-backpack.jpg

see this ->
http://groups.google.com/ groups ?hl =en &lr = &ie =UTF-8 &selm =34303.808T954T8051974 %40idaho.potatoes.in.a.net

->
http://www.linuxmax.net/ news/ 00361.html

businessweek needs a clue "Before using open-source software, tech companies must sign a license in which they promise to give away innovations they build on top of it." HUH? ->
http://www.businessweek.com/ magazine/ content/ 03_09/ b3822601_tc102.htm

the bastard operator from hell ->
http://bofh.ntk.net

BSD is Satanic! ->
http://linuxtoday.com/ news_story.php3 ?ltsn =2001-02-05-009-04-OP-KN-BD-0009

chickens ->
http://www.weirdity.com/ jokes/ index.shtml

scrub those nasty windows with linux detergent! ->
http://linuxtoday.com/ news_story.php3 ?ltsn =2001-04-10-007-21-PS

is this a joke? ->
http://www.casketfurniture.com/ casket_furniture.php

computer in a commode ->
http://www.pheaton.com/ cases/ toilet.htm

->
http://www.attrition.org/ mirror/ attrition/ 1999/ 11/ 14/ www.cwc.gov/

Where do YOU want to go today? the real m$ plan for you ->
http://www.attrition.org/ mirror/ attrition/ 1999/ 11/ 14/ www.cwc.gov/

"Schoolgirl turns tables on email credit card fraudster" ->
http://www.theregister.co.uk/ content/ 55/ 29403.html

"DNA seen through the eyes of a coder" ->
http://ds9a.nl/ amazing-dna/

dumb laws ->
http://www.dumblaws.com/ states/ index.html

"Dumping Bill" ->
http://worldnetdaily.com/ news/ article.asp ?ARTICLE_ID =35163

the end of the internet ->
http://www.iamnext.com/ fun/ jokes/ lastpage.html

Esko Woutenberg's advice to Linux distributors. (paraphrased) Sell flaky distros, follow with a new version and claim "it is 20 times as reliable as the previous version". Sell a bare-bones distro, then sell productivity packs for $ 89. Sell authorized distributor memberships for $ 395 (most people don't know about the GPL). Sell connectivity packs (don't mention Linux has no license fees). ->
http://linuxtoday.com/ news_story.php3 ?ltsn =2001-01-24-008-04-OP-OO

Esko Woutenberg, advice to Linux distributors, (paraphrased) Don't give away free desktop themes; sell them as plus packs. Sell membership to "the Linux developer network" for $ 1,495 per year, then forward "Kernel Traffic" to them every week. "Sell the 'super secret' list of the kernel maintainers' e-mail addresses." Don't tell them it's publicly available info. ->
http://linuxtoday.com/ news_story.php3 ?ltsn =2001-01-24-008-04-OP-OO

bad deal? ->
http://www.netfunny.com/ rhf/ jokes/ 88q3/ 20424.7.html

this is for Deputy_liquid_comet ->
http://www.netfunny.com/ rhf/ jokes/ 89q1/ sherr.299.html

don't look up ->
http://www.netfunny.com/ rhf/ jokes/ 89q1/ truenews.1.html

D.Manchester - Tap Dancing and Farting as a means of Enterprise Deployment... ->
http://linuxtoday.com/ news_story.php3 ?ltsn =2000-05-23-016-04-OP-CY-SM-0016

D.Manchester - Tap Dancing and Farting as a means of Enterprise Deployment... Gates must really be a 3-foot tall blue-skinned alien. No, wait, really! In Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions" is told a Kilgore Trout plot about a 3-foot tall blue-skinned alien who lands his flying saucer on the lawn of a family living in Darien, CT. The house is on fire, and the owner... ->
http://linuxtoday.com/ news_story.php3 ?ltsn =2000-05-23-016-04-OP-CY-SM-0016

frogblender 2000 ->
http://www.joecartoon.com/ cartoons/ frog.html

autopsy of a furby ->
http://www.phobe.com/ furby/

->
http://www.geekissues.org/ quotes/ ?top

->
http://www.rockabillyhall.com/ HotRodLncln.html
http://www.lincoln-club.org/ hot-rod-lincoln1.html
http://www.lincoln-club.org/ hot-rod-lincoln2.html

you need this ->
http://www.kleinbottle.com

"L337 - An offence punishable by death. See
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/ ?t =archives &date =2003-06-06
http://wiki.ru.ac.za/ L337

computers run on F*in Magic ->
http://www.cs.utah.edu/ ~elb/ folklore/ magic.html

->
http://www.manbeef.com

"Microsoft Legal Responsibility: Coming Soon to a Dream Near You!" ->
http://www.linuxandmain.com/ modules.php ?name =News &file =article &sid =240

"Triumph of the Stultocracy" - "America has become a stultocracy: government by morons, for morons." ->
http://www.uexpress.com/ printable/ print.html ?uc_full_date =20040921 &uc_comic =ru

"1. Remove the CD-ROM from the CD-ROM drive, rotate it one-quarter to one-half a turn, reinsert the CD-ROM into the drive, and then click OK." ->
http://support.microsoft.com/ default.aspx ?scid =kb %3Ben-us %3B232681

netgear routers DDoS university of wisconsin ->
http://www.cs.wisc.edu/ ~plonka/ netgear-sntp/

"Hungarian dentists look for a new source of fuel for their independent nuclear deterrent" ->
http://www.theregister.co.uk/ content/ 28/ 36544.html

parody of goofy m$ advertisement ->
http://www.koehntopp.de/ kris/ pics/ iwerb/

soccer is strange ->
http://www.bananaguide.com/ bgwire46.htm

takfloo ->
http://bard.sytes.net/ miscellaneous_code/ curfloo-0.76c.tar.gz

The Gospel of Tux ->
http://www.zepa.net/ hypermail/ elug/ 1999/ 08/ 0429.html

Photo comparison of BSD and Linux (hey! that ain't fair!) ->
http://www.xs4all.nl/ ~marcone/ bsdversuslinux.html

windows? "Our hardware runs better without windows." ->
http://www.plig.net/ things/ bmwwindow.html